Friday, September 30, 2005
Monday, September 26, 2005
The Ghost of a Post as it Heads for the Coast
I feel dumb keeping this blog. I hardly can think of anything funny anymore. I think it would be fun sometimes to keep a "real" blog, like about stuff that happens to me and what I think and try to be interesting about it. But that would be dumb too, because so many people that I know read this blog, and if I'm going to talk about things, then the next time I talk to them I won't have anything to talk about, or they'll be like "Oh, you think x, huh?" and I'll be like "Eh, don't worry about it" and the whole rest of the bus ride to Reno will be uncomfortably silent.
Is the point of blogs to entertain people or to inform them about what's going on in your life? I think a lot of people use them to keep people up to date, but I don't think that's the real purpose. Half the blogs I read are by people I don't know, and what value could there be in reading about their daily happenings if it weren't entertaining? Some people write so well that it's interesting just to hear about their boring day. Other people couldn't make a thought-provoking statement with a flamethrower.
I have a suspicion that I'd be super boring if I tried to write the kind of blog I like to read. To be perfectly honest, my favorite part of having this blog is the discussions in the comments. A bunch of people who don't know each other can weigh in on issues of no consequence. It's fun.
I'll keep this blog up and try to be more creative and clever. I'm lazy and dumb, though, and not at all a descendent of the Olympian deities. Three strikes against me right there. I'm out, I guess.
I feel dumb keeping this blog. I hardly can think of anything funny anymore. I think it would be fun sometimes to keep a "real" blog, like about stuff that happens to me and what I think and try to be interesting about it. But that would be dumb too, because so many people that I know read this blog, and if I'm going to talk about things, then the next time I talk to them I won't have anything to talk about, or they'll be like "Oh, you think x, huh?" and I'll be like "Eh, don't worry about it" and the whole rest of the bus ride to Reno will be uncomfortably silent.
Is the point of blogs to entertain people or to inform them about what's going on in your life? I think a lot of people use them to keep people up to date, but I don't think that's the real purpose. Half the blogs I read are by people I don't know, and what value could there be in reading about their daily happenings if it weren't entertaining? Some people write so well that it's interesting just to hear about their boring day. Other people couldn't make a thought-provoking statement with a flamethrower.
I have a suspicion that I'd be super boring if I tried to write the kind of blog I like to read. To be perfectly honest, my favorite part of having this blog is the discussions in the comments. A bunch of people who don't know each other can weigh in on issues of no consequence. It's fun.
I'll keep this blog up and try to be more creative and clever. I'm lazy and dumb, though, and not at all a descendent of the Olympian deities. Three strikes against me right there. I'm out, I guess.
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
When I woke up today, I wasn't planning to count the number of Coldplay shirts I saw, but despite my lack of preparation, I was able to collect fairly accurate data. I saw four of them. More on this as it develops.
Thursday, September 15, 2005
The Soothrhymesayer Says
I predict that the next big thing in hip-hop slang will be an adoption of colonial language, and we'll have things like "Ye Olde Gee Unitte" and "the town crunkard."
I predict that the next big thing in hip-hop slang will be an adoption of colonial language, and we'll have things like "Ye Olde Gee Unitte" and "the town crunkard."
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Big, big news, man. Big.
So last year, someone said "I like your shirt" to me. Today, someone else told me the same thing while I wore the same shirt. "Sure," you say, "that happens sometimes. Maybe it's even happened to me." But this is not a noteworthy shirt. 2 out of 2 people who are me or Clare agree on that. It's a plain purple-on-black plaid shirt with buttons. It doesn't say anything on it and it's not even shiny or on fire. I thought that people usually said "I like your shirt" to people with either flamboyantly awesome shirts or shirts that reference some sort of dumb pop culture thing that they like. I've had that happen to me before even. But this, this is borderline unusual.
I could understand one person saying it, because the odds are good that at least one person out there will like a given shirt, and I just ran into that person. But today's incident has left me wondering if my shirt is the same as some celebrity's shirt or something. I mean, kids like "rap" these days. Maybe it's some kind of "rap" shirt. Otherwise, I can't think of what would make it noteworthy.
Ahem, funny you should mention that...
Oh, look, everybody. It's Signor Italics! What do you want, Signor Italics?
Well, I see quite a similarity between your shirt and this post.
Namely?
Namely, neither is worth mentioning. Just as you could not understand why someone would go to the trouble of complimenting your shirt, I'm racking my brains here for a reason why you'd go to the trouble to write about it. Honestly, some people write about world events or even dramatic occurrences in their own lives. You write about your shirt.
And you write about me writing about my shirt.
Oh, shove off.
You shove off.
I'll shove you.
So last year, someone said "I like your shirt" to me. Today, someone else told me the same thing while I wore the same shirt. "Sure," you say, "that happens sometimes. Maybe it's even happened to me." But this is not a noteworthy shirt. 2 out of 2 people who are me or Clare agree on that. It's a plain purple-on-black plaid shirt with buttons. It doesn't say anything on it and it's not even shiny or on fire. I thought that people usually said "I like your shirt" to people with either flamboyantly awesome shirts or shirts that reference some sort of dumb pop culture thing that they like. I've had that happen to me before even. But this, this is borderline unusual.
I could understand one person saying it, because the odds are good that at least one person out there will like a given shirt, and I just ran into that person. But today's incident has left me wondering if my shirt is the same as some celebrity's shirt or something. I mean, kids like "rap" these days. Maybe it's some kind of "rap" shirt. Otherwise, I can't think of what would make it noteworthy.
Ahem, funny you should mention that...
Oh, look, everybody. It's Signor Italics! What do you want, Signor Italics?
Well, I see quite a similarity between your shirt and this post.
Namely?
Namely, neither is worth mentioning. Just as you could not understand why someone would go to the trouble of complimenting your shirt, I'm racking my brains here for a reason why you'd go to the trouble to write about it. Honestly, some people write about world events or even dramatic occurrences in their own lives. You write about your shirt.
And you write about me writing about my shirt.
Oh, shove off.
You shove off.
I'll shove you.
Monday, September 12, 2005
I'm Freaking Up To Us
I've been trying to think of ways to make boring things more interesting. People are funny, but isn't it weird how nobody is funny in exactly the same way as someone else? And some people aren't funny at all. If someone claims to not be funny, they're either being modest or they're really not funny, and you hate to say "no, i'm sure you're funny" and then have it turn out that they were just telling the truth. If someone claims to be funny, they're also either lying or telling the truth. I think, actually, that's true for whenever people say anything, now that i think about it.
Okay, now there's an example. The last paragraph was pretty boring, so how could I have made it more interesting? It doesn't really matter, because i'm not going to go back and change it now. I could try and make this paragraph more interesting, but what's in it for me? This is a problem in my life, I think.
I like it when people say "We want a pitcher, not a belly-itcher." I want to say that to people of other professions whenever I get the chance. Like "We want a banker, not a silly wanker." Or "We want a plumber, not a total bummer." There are probably all sorts of these. Let's see how many I can do.
You could say "We want a butcher, not an Ashton Kutcher." Like, you know, if your butcher is dating someone significantly older than himself. Or making poor role choices in movies maybe.
"We want a waiter, not a ancient Latin verb conjugator." I hate when that happens.
If you're sick of watching city coucil meetings degenerate into freestyle rap battles, there's "We want a mayor, not a dope rhymesayer."
If your favorite band has recently taken to throwing freshly baked muffins into the audience, to the detriment of their music, you can bust out "We want a rocker, not a Betty Crocker."
How about "We want an actor, not a benefactor"? (Truth be told, I'd much rather have a benefactor. Change that one to "sexy tractor," maybe.)
Finally, if a blogger you know writes nothing but stupid posts when he writes them at all, what do you do? Fill In The Blank, baby!
I've been trying to think of ways to make boring things more interesting. People are funny, but isn't it weird how nobody is funny in exactly the same way as someone else? And some people aren't funny at all. If someone claims to not be funny, they're either being modest or they're really not funny, and you hate to say "no, i'm sure you're funny" and then have it turn out that they were just telling the truth. If someone claims to be funny, they're also either lying or telling the truth. I think, actually, that's true for whenever people say anything, now that i think about it.
Okay, now there's an example. The last paragraph was pretty boring, so how could I have made it more interesting? It doesn't really matter, because i'm not going to go back and change it now. I could try and make this paragraph more interesting, but what's in it for me? This is a problem in my life, I think.
I like it when people say "We want a pitcher, not a belly-itcher." I want to say that to people of other professions whenever I get the chance. Like "We want a banker, not a silly wanker." Or "We want a plumber, not a total bummer." There are probably all sorts of these. Let's see how many I can do.
You could say "We want a butcher, not an Ashton Kutcher." Like, you know, if your butcher is dating someone significantly older than himself. Or making poor role choices in movies maybe.
"We want a waiter, not a ancient Latin verb conjugator." I hate when that happens.
If you're sick of watching city coucil meetings degenerate into freestyle rap battles, there's "We want a mayor, not a dope rhymesayer."
If your favorite band has recently taken to throwing freshly baked muffins into the audience, to the detriment of their music, you can bust out "We want a rocker, not a Betty Crocker."
How about "We want an actor, not a benefactor"? (Truth be told, I'd much rather have a benefactor. Change that one to "sexy tractor," maybe.)
Finally, if a blogger you know writes nothing but stupid posts when he writes them at all, what do you do? Fill In The Blank, baby!
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
a quick trifle
I need suggestions on how to fill a freakload of empty wall space in my new dorm room. I had no luck at the poster sale, and I wouldn't ask for help except that I'm sick of listening to myself complain about it. My tastes are weird and annoying, so it's hard to find stuff that I like. Two free gift certificates for at least three-quarters of a high-quality dumpling to anyone who suggests something totally sweet, subject to verification.
Never let me slip, cause if I slip, then I'm slippin.
I need suggestions on how to fill a freakload of empty wall space in my new dorm room. I had no luck at the poster sale, and I wouldn't ask for help except that I'm sick of listening to myself complain about it. My tastes are weird and annoying, so it's hard to find stuff that I like. Two free gift certificates for at least three-quarters of a high-quality dumpling to anyone who suggests something totally sweet, subject to verification.
Never let me slip, cause if I slip, then I'm slippin.
Friday, September 02, 2005
Here's a good idea for Teen Girl Squad: One of the characters says something unusually wise, then gets trampled by a pack of rodents while Strong Bad yells "SHREW'D!"
