Monday, April 25, 2005
It Reeks of Mystique!
Jiminy-wha? Yes, you read right, folks, yolks, James K. Polks... Bensaki is back! ...terially infected. With a groove!
*busts out harmonica*
da neewww na newt
well i had this one weblog
da neewww na newt
and it made me go nuts
da neewww na newt
said i once had a pigeon
da neewww na newt
that had seven butts
da neewww na newt
oh i once had a dollar
da neewww na newt
that hated my guts
da neewww na newt
but now i'm back blogging
da neewww na newt
well ain't that just nuuuuuuuuuts? woh woh woh wooooooh....
Oh man, that song rocked. And it's all true, too. I'm here to bring you the freak once again like in the good old days of yore. I even went to the store and bought a case of yore! The yore will be flowing in the streets once again, my friends. The only difference, as you can already tell, is that I'm calling it Freak up your week, so as to lower expectations for myself. I figure I can write a quality post at least once a week, and I won't be under pressure to post every day that makes me scramble for ideas and write crappy crap.
You don't have to wait.. here's your first weekly freakup!
Your first weekly freakup!
Some people say oatmeal is a meal in itself. The same has been said of both cornmeal and I Can't Believe It's Not Baboon Helper. Scientific studies, on the other hand, have shown that oatmeal is only 4/7 meal and 3/7 oat. The word 'oatmeal,' that is. But what about oatmeal itself? Could one have a meal made entirely out of oats?!? The short answer is yes, if you hire an experienced sculptor. The long answer is as follows.
First of all, let's divide our meal into the five basic food groups: Grains, Meats, Salads, Desserts, and Somethings to Wash It Down With. Oatmeal is, of course, a grain, so you have that covered right off the bat. For the meat, you just have to find a spare G sitting around (this could be either a gangster or one thousand dollars, whichever is handier) and add it to the front of the word, and you have Goatmeal. Maybe not the choicest meat, but it's a lot better than Three-Toed Slothmeal.
Next on the list, if you skip around a bit, is Somethings to Wash It Down With. As anyone who's ever heard a joke before knows, in Canada the word "oat" is pronounced "oot," which is part of the words "root beer," so you have your beverage right there. Salad is easy, just take the packet the oatmeal came in, rip it into shreds, and pretend the shreds is lettuce. It really works.
Then all you have left is your Desserts. The obvious answer is oatmeal cookies. "But wait," the voice of reason whines, "you have no cookies, just oatmeal!" Well, come on. You cook the 'e' in 'oatmeal.' Cook 'e' = cookie! The snag is that you're left with Oatmal Cookies, but what are you gonna do? Isral has made do without an e in his name, and so can you.
So there's your long answer. Oatmeal is a meal in itself, a meal consisting of oatmeal, goatmeal, shredded oatmeal packet, oatmal cookies, and root beer. Now, if you're ever stranded on, um, oatmeal island, you'll be living in style. Unless you decide to build a boatmeal and escape.
I'll take my random Zep comment now, Bloke, thank you.
Jiminy-wha? Yes, you read right, folks, yolks, James K. Polks... Bensaki is back! ...terially infected. With a groove!
*busts out harmonica*
da neewww na newt
well i had this one weblog
da neewww na newt
and it made me go nuts
da neewww na newt
said i once had a pigeon
da neewww na newt
that had seven butts
da neewww na newt
oh i once had a dollar
da neewww na newt
that hated my guts
da neewww na newt
but now i'm back blogging
da neewww na newt
well ain't that just nuuuuuuuuuts? woh woh woh wooooooh....
Oh man, that song rocked. And it's all true, too. I'm here to bring you the freak once again like in the good old days of yore. I even went to the store and bought a case of yore! The yore will be flowing in the streets once again, my friends. The only difference, as you can already tell, is that I'm calling it Freak up your week, so as to lower expectations for myself. I figure I can write a quality post at least once a week, and I won't be under pressure to post every day that makes me scramble for ideas and write crappy crap.
You don't have to wait.. here's your first weekly freakup!
Your first weekly freakup!
Some people say oatmeal is a meal in itself. The same has been said of both cornmeal and I Can't Believe It's Not Baboon Helper. Scientific studies, on the other hand, have shown that oatmeal is only 4/7 meal and 3/7 oat. The word 'oatmeal,' that is. But what about oatmeal itself? Could one have a meal made entirely out of oats?!? The short answer is yes, if you hire an experienced sculptor. The long answer is as follows.
First of all, let's divide our meal into the five basic food groups: Grains, Meats, Salads, Desserts, and Somethings to Wash It Down With. Oatmeal is, of course, a grain, so you have that covered right off the bat. For the meat, you just have to find a spare G sitting around (this could be either a gangster or one thousand dollars, whichever is handier) and add it to the front of the word, and you have Goatmeal. Maybe not the choicest meat, but it's a lot better than Three-Toed Slothmeal.
Next on the list, if you skip around a bit, is Somethings to Wash It Down With. As anyone who's ever heard a joke before knows, in Canada the word "oat" is pronounced "oot," which is part of the words "root beer," so you have your beverage right there. Salad is easy, just take the packet the oatmeal came in, rip it into shreds, and pretend the shreds is lettuce. It really works.
Then all you have left is your Desserts. The obvious answer is oatmeal cookies. "But wait," the voice of reason whines, "you have no cookies, just oatmeal!" Well, come on. You cook the 'e' in 'oatmeal.' Cook 'e' = cookie! The snag is that you're left with Oatmal Cookies, but what are you gonna do? Isral has made do without an e in his name, and so can you.
So there's your long answer. Oatmeal is a meal in itself, a meal consisting of oatmeal, goatmeal, shredded oatmeal packet, oatmal cookies, and root beer. Now, if you're ever stranded on, um, oatmeal island, you'll be living in style. Unless you decide to build a boatmeal and escape.
I'll take my random Zep comment now, Bloke, thank you.
