Monday, May 10, 2004
okay, so three of the sites i have linked are defunct or semi-defunct, and one of them, after its drummer left to start his own band, is now thoroughly de-funked. that joke has probably been cracked more times than my skull ought to be as a punishment for making the joke again. jeez, i'm no good at that kind of joke either. forget it. but as i was saying, carlene, liusia, and ryan have not updated in quite a while. carlene is in australia, so we should cut her some slack, i suppose, and liusia's computer caught on fire, so we'll give her the rest of the slack after we cut off the piece for carlene. ryan, i don't what the deal is with him. he's probably got other things to do than work on a website, so i'm happy for him about that. i guess there's not much of a point in telling you this, except that if you don't care to look back in history any further than the beginning of this month, you should go to one of the other sites i have linked. or, for that matter, you could just think up a completely different website to go to without my help. i know you could do it if you tried. there are plenty of words and letters out there; just start lumping some of them together, throw in a few odd punctuation marks, and eventually you'll come upon a real site.
not that you should stop visiting this site. on the contrary, you should start visiting it. now is as good a time as any to start, seeing as you're already here. i haven't had the greatest day, but i'll post anyway, because as i always say, if you want to freak up your day, freak up someone else's day. i'm pretty sure somebody famous said that, even if it was some c-list celebrity who should never have had a career but managed to charm the unsuspecting viewing public for a brief, radiant moment with a rags-to-riches story and a winning, surgically enhanced smile, until a few harsh but honest critics dared to throw into question the talent of such a newcomer and the eyes of the populace were opened to the fact that his entire oeuvre had been made up of gimmics and fluff, but he would nevertheless live on in kitschy merchandise and television nostalgia specials. i just forgot what i was talking about.
so here's the deal. clicky pens are what's wrong with the world today. i know many of you will be quick to rise to their defense, but that only goes to prove how strong a hold they have already taken on your minds. in fact, it may already be too late to avoid the danger, but at least i can make up a funny story about it. the villain will be... let's call him Elvis. i don't imagine that name gets around in many villainous circles. (watch, in a couple of days all the ads at the top of this page will be about Elvis Presley. even more so now that i mentioned his name.) so Elvis was sitting in his adult ed cooking class, watching the blossoming romance between Turner Benchley and Julie Hooten (that's another story), while his friend Tammy Davis Jr. (what?) was disassembling and reassembling a clicky pen over and over and over. eventually, of course, it drove him out of his bleedin' head, and once he was out of it, he realized it was bleedin' and went to get a bandage. when he came back, he was still pretty teed off, so he decided he may as well play the whole 18 holes. it was then that he realized what his problem was: he was taking all these expressions i was writing way too literally.
"Enough of that," he said, and golf-carted it back to the classroom. his plan was to take Tammy outside and kill her killingly for annoying him so annoyingly. but his plan failed failingly, as all events eventually do. he had a gun that he used usually, but this time it broke brokenly into pieces, peacefully. this type of prose went on ongoingly until it came haltingly to a stop. that was the end of my post, which i hope hopefully illustrated illustriously the problems of the world as caused by clicky pens. clickily.
not that you should stop visiting this site. on the contrary, you should start visiting it. now is as good a time as any to start, seeing as you're already here. i haven't had the greatest day, but i'll post anyway, because as i always say, if you want to freak up your day, freak up someone else's day. i'm pretty sure somebody famous said that, even if it was some c-list celebrity who should never have had a career but managed to charm the unsuspecting viewing public for a brief, radiant moment with a rags-to-riches story and a winning, surgically enhanced smile, until a few harsh but honest critics dared to throw into question the talent of such a newcomer and the eyes of the populace were opened to the fact that his entire oeuvre had been made up of gimmics and fluff, but he would nevertheless live on in kitschy merchandise and television nostalgia specials. i just forgot what i was talking about.
so here's the deal. clicky pens are what's wrong with the world today. i know many of you will be quick to rise to their defense, but that only goes to prove how strong a hold they have already taken on your minds. in fact, it may already be too late to avoid the danger, but at least i can make up a funny story about it. the villain will be... let's call him Elvis. i don't imagine that name gets around in many villainous circles. (watch, in a couple of days all the ads at the top of this page will be about Elvis Presley. even more so now that i mentioned his name.) so Elvis was sitting in his adult ed cooking class, watching the blossoming romance between Turner Benchley and Julie Hooten (that's another story), while his friend Tammy Davis Jr. (what?) was disassembling and reassembling a clicky pen over and over and over. eventually, of course, it drove him out of his bleedin' head, and once he was out of it, he realized it was bleedin' and went to get a bandage. when he came back, he was still pretty teed off, so he decided he may as well play the whole 18 holes. it was then that he realized what his problem was: he was taking all these expressions i was writing way too literally.
"Enough of that," he said, and golf-carted it back to the classroom. his plan was to take Tammy outside and kill her killingly for annoying him so annoyingly. but his plan failed failingly, as all events eventually do. he had a gun that he used usually, but this time it broke brokenly into pieces, peacefully. this type of prose went on ongoingly until it came haltingly to a stop. that was the end of my post, which i hope hopefully illustrated illustriously the problems of the world as caused by clicky pens. clickily.
