Friday, May 14, 2004
Moral Outrage and Wanton Soup
I'm not usually one to get up on a soapbox or any such, but i think these banner ads what say "shoot the criminal and win whatever" are going just a bit too freakin' far. let's reward people for acting on their baser instincts and justify it by making the victim somehow morally inferior or some crap. like it's no big deal to kill someone just because he's running around with some stolen money and wearing a cheesy mask. yes, i know it's just a cartoon character and there are worse things out there than this ad, and that i'm full of crap, but like, whatever. sorry, i'm done.
Come to think of it, that fit pretty well with my title, which was really only supposed to a little joke about "wonton" and "wanton," which are pronounced the same, i think, although some people disagree. I think the idea of really depraved soup is pretty funny, myself. Wow, this blog is a blowfest.
Let's talk about something else, how 'bout? What would you like to talk about? I hear a resounding "Chickenosaurus," so i'll take it that's your answer. All right, that's what we'll talk about. I was wondering when you were going to bring that up.
Chickenosaurus was the name of a pet handful of mashed potatoes i used to have. I called it "Chickenosaurus" because it came from an ancient time and it smelled like moldy chicken. Long ago, in the days before side dishes, Chickenosaurus was a powerful executive with many friends. He drove the first sports car known to potato, which always had trouble starting because it was invented after the wheel but before internal combustion, or fire, for that matter. But when he could get it working, it was a pretty smooth ride. I know you're thinking that a sports car in prehistoric times is an anachronism, but you're wrong, because back then, anachronisms hadn't been invented yet. Anyway, Chickenosaurus used to get in his car and cruise for chicks, so he could add them to the front of his name to make it sound more oldskool hip-hop. He felt much cooler once he was known as Chick-Chick-Chickenosaurus, and he would sit around and freestyle about his "roostaz" up in "tha coop." That didn't last too long, though, because a rampant herd of poseurs roamed through the town and devoured all the vegetation with their carnivorous catchphrases and fancy production, forcing the old MC's with real street cred like Chickenosaurus into extinction. (Wait... how the crap did this story turn into a sermon about the desouling of rap? i don't even like rap. what am i on?) Either that or a gigantic Meteor of Good Taste collided with the planet, knocking the entire genre into oblivion. I don't know, it was one of those. The experts are divided on the issue. However it happened, Chickenosaurus eventually ended up on my plate, where we discussed his history for an enlightening five minutes, after which he ate me. The irony.
I apologize again for this ridiculous post. I'm gonna go lie down now.
I'm not usually one to get up on a soapbox or any such, but i think these banner ads what say "shoot the criminal and win whatever" are going just a bit too freakin' far. let's reward people for acting on their baser instincts and justify it by making the victim somehow morally inferior or some crap. like it's no big deal to kill someone just because he's running around with some stolen money and wearing a cheesy mask. yes, i know it's just a cartoon character and there are worse things out there than this ad, and that i'm full of crap, but like, whatever. sorry, i'm done.
Come to think of it, that fit pretty well with my title, which was really only supposed to a little joke about "wonton" and "wanton," which are pronounced the same, i think, although some people disagree. I think the idea of really depraved soup is pretty funny, myself. Wow, this blog is a blowfest.
Let's talk about something else, how 'bout? What would you like to talk about? I hear a resounding "Chickenosaurus," so i'll take it that's your answer. All right, that's what we'll talk about. I was wondering when you were going to bring that up.
Chickenosaurus was the name of a pet handful of mashed potatoes i used to have. I called it "Chickenosaurus" because it came from an ancient time and it smelled like moldy chicken. Long ago, in the days before side dishes, Chickenosaurus was a powerful executive with many friends. He drove the first sports car known to potato, which always had trouble starting because it was invented after the wheel but before internal combustion, or fire, for that matter. But when he could get it working, it was a pretty smooth ride. I know you're thinking that a sports car in prehistoric times is an anachronism, but you're wrong, because back then, anachronisms hadn't been invented yet. Anyway, Chickenosaurus used to get in his car and cruise for chicks, so he could add them to the front of his name to make it sound more oldskool hip-hop. He felt much cooler once he was known as Chick-Chick-Chickenosaurus, and he would sit around and freestyle about his "roostaz" up in "tha coop." That didn't last too long, though, because a rampant herd of poseurs roamed through the town and devoured all the vegetation with their carnivorous catchphrases and fancy production, forcing the old MC's with real street cred like Chickenosaurus into extinction. (Wait... how the crap did this story turn into a sermon about the desouling of rap? i don't even like rap. what am i on?) Either that or a gigantic Meteor of Good Taste collided with the planet, knocking the entire genre into oblivion. I don't know, it was one of those. The experts are divided on the issue. However it happened, Chickenosaurus eventually ended up on my plate, where we discussed his history for an enlightening five minutes, after which he ate me. The irony.
I apologize again for this ridiculous post. I'm gonna go lie down now.
