Tuesday, April 13, 2004
Squirtgun Crusades
I haven't done a quiz in a while. Let's do one of those.
The title of today's quiz is "What's your deal already?" and we'll be competing for a gift certificate from International Half-a-Dumpling Emporium.
Good luck, and may the best man/maid of honor win.
Question 1: Did you do that on purpose?
A) Yes, and I'd do it again in a second.
B) No, it was an accident! I swear!
C) You can't prove nothing. You hear me?
D) Er, it's kind of embarassing, actually... See, I was trying to tell him "I'm having your baby grand piano tuned," but he only heard the first part of the sentence before he flipped out and started juggling table lamps, and now here we are, stuck in a hasty marriage to cover a fictional pregnancy. Ha ha!
Question 2: When, if ever, did you get the crackpot idea that those pants looked any good?
A) The same day I found all that unattended cocaine and marijuana, and I... Oh. A drug pun. I get it.
B) What? You saying these pants don't look any good? No way man, these pants look every good!
C) Well, they matched my kneecaps, so...
D) Just now, actually. They say "Good-looking Pants" on the butt in large fluorescent orange letters, so that gave me the idea. Oh... wait...
Question 3: Can you vouch for this guy over here?
A) Yeah, he's good for about six laughs, five hundred dollars, and his word, in that order.
B) No way. I've never seen Uncle Todd before in my life. I mean, that guy.
C) Sure, I trust any guy with a conspicuous video camera under his shirt.
D) No, but I'll vouch for this couch. It's got a cool pouch.
Question 4: Ouch.
A-C) Agreed.
D) Fine. You're no fun.
Question 5: Not that i'm implying anything, but have you ever considered the possibility that you accidentally have a tangled ball of barbed wire instead of a head?
A) I probably would have considered it, but it hurts when I think. Specifically, it jabs tetanus-inducingly.
B) Actually, I do. It's because my mind is the property of the Motherland.
C) Um... I'll barb your wire.
D) Hey now... I may be sharp, but not that sharp! Doh ho!
End of quiz time. Here are the results:
If you answered A to any of these questions, give yourself one point. Then poke yourself in the eye.
For B responses, pretend like you have friends and do a little dance while wearing a sausage link leotard and sprinkling parmesan cheese on a running video camera, and send me a copy, and maybe i'll think about letting you have some points. Maybe.
If you answered mostly C responses, your deal might be that you have some kind of fingernail disorder.
Finally, if you answered D to any of the questions, especially the last one, you don't even deserve half a dumpling. Go eat some... quarters of a dumpling or something. Jeez.
First one to the finish line wins the gift certificate.
I haven't done a quiz in a while. Let's do one of those.
The title of today's quiz is "What's your deal already?" and we'll be competing for a gift certificate from International Half-a-Dumpling Emporium.
Good luck, and may the best man/maid of honor win.
Question 1: Did you do that on purpose?
A) Yes, and I'd do it again in a second.
B) No, it was an accident! I swear!
C) You can't prove nothing. You hear me?
D) Er, it's kind of embarassing, actually... See, I was trying to tell him "I'm having your baby grand piano tuned," but he only heard the first part of the sentence before he flipped out and started juggling table lamps, and now here we are, stuck in a hasty marriage to cover a fictional pregnancy. Ha ha!
Question 2: When, if ever, did you get the crackpot idea that those pants looked any good?
A) The same day I found all that unattended cocaine and marijuana, and I... Oh. A drug pun. I get it.
B) What? You saying these pants don't look any good? No way man, these pants look every good!
C) Well, they matched my kneecaps, so...
D) Just now, actually. They say "Good-looking Pants" on the butt in large fluorescent orange letters, so that gave me the idea. Oh... wait...
Question 3: Can you vouch for this guy over here?
A) Yeah, he's good for about six laughs, five hundred dollars, and his word, in that order.
B) No way. I've never seen Uncle Todd before in my life. I mean, that guy.
C) Sure, I trust any guy with a conspicuous video camera under his shirt.
D) No, but I'll vouch for this couch. It's got a cool pouch.
Question 4: Ouch.
A-C) Agreed.
D) Fine. You're no fun.
Question 5: Not that i'm implying anything, but have you ever considered the possibility that you accidentally have a tangled ball of barbed wire instead of a head?
A) I probably would have considered it, but it hurts when I think. Specifically, it jabs tetanus-inducingly.
B) Actually, I do. It's because my mind is the property of the Motherland.
C) Um... I'll barb your wire.
D) Hey now... I may be sharp, but not that sharp! Doh ho!
End of quiz time. Here are the results:
If you answered A to any of these questions, give yourself one point. Then poke yourself in the eye.
For B responses, pretend like you have friends and do a little dance while wearing a sausage link leotard and sprinkling parmesan cheese on a running video camera, and send me a copy, and maybe i'll think about letting you have some points. Maybe.
If you answered mostly C responses, your deal might be that you have some kind of fingernail disorder.
Finally, if you answered D to any of the questions, especially the last one, you don't even deserve half a dumpling. Go eat some... quarters of a dumpling or something. Jeez.
First one to the finish line wins the gift certificate.
