freak up your day

Fork over the spoons.

This is an actual conversation that took place yesterday between Julie and one of her tacos. I overheard it by accident when i was eavesdropping.

Julie: Narg harg harg. *munch munch*
Taco: Sorry, what was that?
J: Oh, I make noises when I eat.
T: I see.
J: Does it bother you?
T: I don't know what to make of it, that's all. It's a little unsettling.
J: Does it make me sound like a Mustard Machine? My last taco told me I sound like a Mustard Machine.
T: Not really, no. All the Mustard Machines I've known have been rather articulate.
J: Oh, well thank you. I... um. Yeah.
T: Anyway, make the noises if you must. It's no business of mine if you sound like a caveman.
J: Narg harg nargaveman?
T: That's right. A caveman. And people are staring, too.
J: Well, what am I supposed to do? Starve myself?
T: Just eat quietly.
J: That's all?
T: Well, it's the first step. Follow the rest of my advice, and I can make this entire restaurant love you. Love you, I say! The next th-
J: *munch, munch* There. No noises that time. How was... Oh. Oh, goodness. I've eaten you.
...
J: Narg harg harg.