Thursday, January 22, 2004
Strumming Sickness
Have you ever thought about all the places where it would be totally inappropriate to sit down on a little stool with a guitar and play happy folk songs for money? Once you start thinking about it, you'll be surprised at how many there are. But I've saved you the trouble and written them all down myself. There's...
Monasteries
Aisles of opera houses
Abandoned tree houses
The barren surface of Mercury
A meeting of the United Nations
The wing of an airplane
A prison bathroom
Anywhere near a bunch of Nazis
Under a car
The stage of a Shakespearean play
Up somebody's nose
SAT testing rooms
Here
Right next to another guy who's already doing the same thing
The ladies' bathroom of a crowded restaurant
Quiet nurseries
Boxing rings
Rifle ranges
Parallel universes where they don't like folk songs
The deep end of a swimming pool
Active volcanoes
Greasy kitchens of seedy diners
The inside of a refrigerator
At a secret meeting of the resistance in which the slightest noise will alert the guards to your presence and bring a hail of bullets and rotten food raining down on your marked head
Your wedding
Strangers' cars
Atop charging bulls
The bottom of a well
and most importantly,
My room.
Because I won't give you any money.
Have you ever thought about all the places where it would be totally inappropriate to sit down on a little stool with a guitar and play happy folk songs for money? Once you start thinking about it, you'll be surprised at how many there are. But I've saved you the trouble and written them all down myself. There's...
Monasteries
Aisles of opera houses
Abandoned tree houses
The barren surface of Mercury
A meeting of the United Nations
The wing of an airplane
A prison bathroom
Anywhere near a bunch of Nazis
Under a car
The stage of a Shakespearean play
Up somebody's nose
SAT testing rooms
Here
Right next to another guy who's already doing the same thing
The ladies' bathroom of a crowded restaurant
Quiet nurseries
Boxing rings
Rifle ranges
Parallel universes where they don't like folk songs
The deep end of a swimming pool
Active volcanoes
Greasy kitchens of seedy diners
The inside of a refrigerator
At a secret meeting of the resistance in which the slightest noise will alert the guards to your presence and bring a hail of bullets and rotten food raining down on your marked head
Your wedding
Strangers' cars
Atop charging bulls
The bottom of a well
and most importantly,
My room.
Because I won't give you any money.
