Tuesday, January 06, 2004
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Dear Diary,
Day thirteen of the pudding diet has been the worst one yet. I look horrible, I feel grotesque, and I smell like Armageddon three weeks later. I'm not sure exactly what health benefits Dr. Blobb expects me to get from this diet, but there don't seem to be any at all. I've seen myself go from near-supermodel physique to sloppy bowl of semiliquid dessert. It's like I am what I eat. And if it weren't bad enough looking like a bad special effects monster blob from the 70's, I've suddenly become a spoon magnet as well. I've never been so popular. Hungry? Have some left arm! Don't feel bad, there's enough for everybody! I tell you, Diary, you really find out who your friends are when you're warm delicious butterscotch goo. I'm getting off this diet and going back to being a scavenger.
Lovingly,
Bensaki
Dear Diary,
Day thirteen of the pudding diet has been the worst one yet. I look horrible, I feel grotesque, and I smell like Armageddon three weeks later. I'm not sure exactly what health benefits Dr. Blobb expects me to get from this diet, but there don't seem to be any at all. I've seen myself go from near-supermodel physique to sloppy bowl of semiliquid dessert. It's like I am what I eat. And if it weren't bad enough looking like a bad special effects monster blob from the 70's, I've suddenly become a spoon magnet as well. I've never been so popular. Hungry? Have some left arm! Don't feel bad, there's enough for everybody! I tell you, Diary, you really find out who your friends are when you're warm delicious butterscotch goo. I'm getting off this diet and going back to being a scavenger.
Lovingly,
Bensaki
