Monday, January 05, 2004
The freak is back?
Okay, okay. So i posted twice over the entire Christmas break. So what? You probably took a vacation too. Anyway, the computer at home has lots of problems, and it's almost easier not to deal with it at all. But now that i'm back at school, you should be able to expect a brand new ultrabrilliant post just about every day. Sweet.
So to make up for so many freakless days and freakless nights, i'm going to tell you something that's super-secret, hidden even from my frog. Never repeat this, especially not over and over to yourself in a hushed voice while sitting alone in a dark room in a deserted corridor in an old creaky abandoned Victorian house gazing into the intense flame of a single black candle. I mean, that could really freak you out. So promise me that. The secret is threefold: There is a magical world where the rivers flow with root beer and the livers glow with foot beer. (There are rumors that the shivers grow with soot beer, but i checked, and they don't.) This magical world is inhabited by living, breathing paper clips, and it can be reached via magical doors at the bottom of most cereal boxes. So what does this knowledge do for you? Well, not much, except that there is a very trendy taco bar there, in case you ever want to check it out.
Not much of a first freakup of the new year, really, but you must understand that a thing like this has to be eased back into, not rushed right away. The same is true of live alligator pants.
Interesting.
Okay, okay. So i posted twice over the entire Christmas break. So what? You probably took a vacation too. Anyway, the computer at home has lots of problems, and it's almost easier not to deal with it at all. But now that i'm back at school, you should be able to expect a brand new ultrabrilliant post just about every day. Sweet.
So to make up for so many freakless days and freakless nights, i'm going to tell you something that's super-secret, hidden even from my frog. Never repeat this, especially not over and over to yourself in a hushed voice while sitting alone in a dark room in a deserted corridor in an old creaky abandoned Victorian house gazing into the intense flame of a single black candle. I mean, that could really freak you out. So promise me that. The secret is threefold: There is a magical world where the rivers flow with root beer and the livers glow with foot beer. (There are rumors that the shivers grow with soot beer, but i checked, and they don't.) This magical world is inhabited by living, breathing paper clips, and it can be reached via magical doors at the bottom of most cereal boxes. So what does this knowledge do for you? Well, not much, except that there is a very trendy taco bar there, in case you ever want to check it out.
Not much of a first freakup of the new year, really, but you must understand that a thing like this has to be eased back into, not rushed right away. The same is true of live alligator pants.
Interesting.
