Thursday, December 18, 2003
Toast?
Bathrobe donned and vanilla Coke in hand, let the freaking begin!
I was thinking about paper towels the other day. Not really "thinking about;" more like "talking to." Well, not really "talking to;" more like "staring longingly into the eyes of." But in the process of that, I realized something. Not really "realized;" more like "suddenly felt." Well, not really "suddenly felt;" more like "got hit full in the face by." It was a stink bomb. Not really "stink;" more like "cherry." Well, not really "cherry;" more like "atom." I fell to my knees. Not really "my knees;" more like "the ground." Well, not really "the ground;" more like "the bottom of an immense crater." There I met a race of superintelligent, friendly moles. Not really "superintelligent, friendly;" more like "superintelligent, hostile." Well, not really "superintelligent, hostile;" more like "supernerdy, homicidal." They bit me. Not really "me;" more like "their nails in terror at my steely gaze and monstrously overpowering physique." Well, not really "their nails in terror at my steely gaze and monstrously overpowering physique;" more like "the bullet and tied me up over a sputtering cauldron of molten earwax." I had no chance of escaping. Not really "no chance of;" more like "a little difficulty in." Well, not really "a little difficulty in;" more like "no qualms about immediately." I stole their secret weapon, a flaming marshmallow gun, which i ruthlessly slaughtered them all with. Not really "ruthlessly slaughtered them all with;" more like "threatened them by fearlessly brandishing." Well, not really "threatened them by fearlessly brandishing;" more like "totally shot myself in the face with." I woke up a few days later in front of this computer with no memory of what had just happened. Not really "in front of this computer with no memory of what had just happened;" more like "in the gutter with fifty cents and a glow-in-the-dark ping-pong ball." Well, not really "in the gutter with fifty cents and a glow-in-the-dark ping-pong ball;" more like "in my bed with a totally lame idea for a story." And you just heard it. Not really "heard;" more like "read." Well, not really "read;" more like "probably ignored."
Yeah, well you're a dork too.
Bathrobe donned and vanilla Coke in hand, let the freaking begin!
I was thinking about paper towels the other day. Not really "thinking about;" more like "talking to." Well, not really "talking to;" more like "staring longingly into the eyes of." But in the process of that, I realized something. Not really "realized;" more like "suddenly felt." Well, not really "suddenly felt;" more like "got hit full in the face by." It was a stink bomb. Not really "stink;" more like "cherry." Well, not really "cherry;" more like "atom." I fell to my knees. Not really "my knees;" more like "the ground." Well, not really "the ground;" more like "the bottom of an immense crater." There I met a race of superintelligent, friendly moles. Not really "superintelligent, friendly;" more like "superintelligent, hostile." Well, not really "superintelligent, hostile;" more like "supernerdy, homicidal." They bit me. Not really "me;" more like "their nails in terror at my steely gaze and monstrously overpowering physique." Well, not really "their nails in terror at my steely gaze and monstrously overpowering physique;" more like "the bullet and tied me up over a sputtering cauldron of molten earwax." I had no chance of escaping. Not really "no chance of;" more like "a little difficulty in." Well, not really "a little difficulty in;" more like "no qualms about immediately." I stole their secret weapon, a flaming marshmallow gun, which i ruthlessly slaughtered them all with. Not really "ruthlessly slaughtered them all with;" more like "threatened them by fearlessly brandishing." Well, not really "threatened them by fearlessly brandishing;" more like "totally shot myself in the face with." I woke up a few days later in front of this computer with no memory of what had just happened. Not really "in front of this computer with no memory of what had just happened;" more like "in the gutter with fifty cents and a glow-in-the-dark ping-pong ball." Well, not really "in the gutter with fifty cents and a glow-in-the-dark ping-pong ball;" more like "in my bed with a totally lame idea for a story." And you just heard it. Not really "heard;" more like "read." Well, not really "read;" more like "probably ignored."
Yeah, well you're a dork too.
