Wednesday, December 10, 2003
Dashing through the snow on a flimsy plastic disc... down the hill we go, sled at your own risk...
It's that mid-December mayhem again, and I'm in the Christmas spirit up to my earlobes. Fa la la. So in that spirit, I am reinstating my classic segment "It Would Rule If..." This is a holiday version, in case you are a philanthropic genie of a humanitarian lamp and you want to make my Christmas wishes come true. It is the most wonderful time of the year, after all. So before the mice stop stirring, i give you this joyous segment.
It would rule if...
-it snowed buttercream frosting and I had a giant graham cracker sled.
-it were Christmas every day except the entire month of August, which would be Cinco de Mayo.
-I had one horse, an open sleigh, lots of fields to go o'er, and something to laugh at all the way.
-my name were Carol of the Bells... or better yet, Roger of the Bells.
-I could make these sugar plums dance in places other than my head, such as a Broadway musical like you've never seen before.
-all the good little boys and girls were paid a visit by Jolly Old Saint Trevor, the patron saint of awesome haircuts.
-the stockings were hung by the chimney with Cher.
-my Christmas tree would finally start bearing Christmas fruit.
-I had lots of Christmas presents, Christmas pheasants, and maybe one or two Christmas peasants.
-there could be pizza on earth, and no bill toward men.
Now, i know it's still a couple weeks before that happy holiday, but this just gives you plenty of time to work on practical solutions to these items on my wish list. Have yourself a cup of cheer already.
It's that mid-December mayhem again, and I'm in the Christmas spirit up to my earlobes. Fa la la. So in that spirit, I am reinstating my classic segment "It Would Rule If..." This is a holiday version, in case you are a philanthropic genie of a humanitarian lamp and you want to make my Christmas wishes come true. It is the most wonderful time of the year, after all. So before the mice stop stirring, i give you this joyous segment.
It would rule if...
-it snowed buttercream frosting and I had a giant graham cracker sled.
-it were Christmas every day except the entire month of August, which would be Cinco de Mayo.
-I had one horse, an open sleigh, lots of fields to go o'er, and something to laugh at all the way.
-my name were Carol of the Bells... or better yet, Roger of the Bells.
-I could make these sugar plums dance in places other than my head, such as a Broadway musical like you've never seen before.
-all the good little boys and girls were paid a visit by Jolly Old Saint Trevor, the patron saint of awesome haircuts.
-the stockings were hung by the chimney with Cher.
-my Christmas tree would finally start bearing Christmas fruit.
-I had lots of Christmas presents, Christmas pheasants, and maybe one or two Christmas peasants.
-there could be pizza on earth, and no bill toward men.
Now, i know it's still a couple weeks before that happy holiday, but this just gives you plenty of time to work on practical solutions to these items on my wish list. Have yourself a cup of cheer already.
