Thursday, October 02, 2003
Peter Piper picked a pack of puking piglets...
All right, Anna, i'll take you up on your question. How much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? And more importantly (as you pointed out), why?
It all started in Woodchuck's hometown of Goodchuck, Mississippi, with his mother, Couldchuck, and his father, Shouldchuck. There were four children: Woodchuck, Wouldchuck, Wüdchuck, and Charles. The oldest of the three, Woodchuck set out at a young age to explore the wonders of the greater Goodchuck area. He wanted to break free from his parents, Couldchuck and Shouldchuck, and the oppressive moral implications of their names, which had psychologically damaged him since he was a young chuck, forcing him to go through such phases as joining a secret antichuck society and changing his name to WoodBlinky The Clown.
After wandering for a few days, he happened upon a town called 'Hoodchuck. As the apostrophe in its name suggests, this was a somewhat run-down urban area. Walking cautiously down each street, Woodchuck kept an eye out for suspicious types and suspicious typewriters. Soon he found both. Notorious street journalist Shouldhavechuckedbutdidn't was sitting at the end of an alley, typing regretful and quite poorly composed memoirs.
They struck up a conversation. Not being fluent in Chuck, i can't tell you what their words meant, but i can give you a pretty accurate transcription of the conversation, just in case someone out there has the linguistic skillz to translate it.
Woodchuck: "Chuck chuck chuck chuck chuck."
Shouldhavechuckedbutdidn't: "Chuck chuck?"
W: "Chuckity chuck chuck McChuck."
S: "Chuck. Chuck. Chuck. Chuck? Chuck."
W: "Chuck Taylor."
S: "Chuck Berry."
W: "Chuck Wagon."
S: "MacGuyver."
After that, Woodchuck went back home, a more enlightened and appreciative woodchuck, and chucked as much wood as he possibly could, which happened to be seven metric inches, or its equivalent. I hope this answers your question.
All right, Anna, i'll take you up on your question. How much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? And more importantly (as you pointed out), why?
It all started in Woodchuck's hometown of Goodchuck, Mississippi, with his mother, Couldchuck, and his father, Shouldchuck. There were four children: Woodchuck, Wouldchuck, Wüdchuck, and Charles. The oldest of the three, Woodchuck set out at a young age to explore the wonders of the greater Goodchuck area. He wanted to break free from his parents, Couldchuck and Shouldchuck, and the oppressive moral implications of their names, which had psychologically damaged him since he was a young chuck, forcing him to go through such phases as joining a secret antichuck society and changing his name to WoodBlinky The Clown.
After wandering for a few days, he happened upon a town called 'Hoodchuck. As the apostrophe in its name suggests, this was a somewhat run-down urban area. Walking cautiously down each street, Woodchuck kept an eye out for suspicious types and suspicious typewriters. Soon he found both. Notorious street journalist Shouldhavechuckedbutdidn't was sitting at the end of an alley, typing regretful and quite poorly composed memoirs.
They struck up a conversation. Not being fluent in Chuck, i can't tell you what their words meant, but i can give you a pretty accurate transcription of the conversation, just in case someone out there has the linguistic skillz to translate it.
Woodchuck: "Chuck chuck chuck chuck chuck."
Shouldhavechuckedbutdidn't: "Chuck chuck?"
W: "Chuckity chuck chuck McChuck."
S: "Chuck. Chuck. Chuck. Chuck? Chuck."
W: "Chuck Taylor."
S: "Chuck Berry."
W: "Chuck Wagon."
S: "MacGuyver."
After that, Woodchuck went back home, a more enlightened and appreciative woodchuck, and chucked as much wood as he possibly could, which happened to be seven metric inches, or its equivalent. I hope this answers your question.
