Wednesday, October 15, 2003
Do your worst, fiend! You'll not get MY $10!
As we speak, countless legions of flying, Corn-Nut-machine-gun-wielding frogs, led into battle by the pheerless Electric Disco Fencepost, are decending on the headquarters of theguestbook.com, former host of my guestbook. In quite the heartless display of shaftism, they pulled a drug-dealer on all their innocent, harmless constituents, making their services suddenly and conspicuously costly, leaving us thousands of e-junkies in a back alley with ragged clothes, no shoes, and the digital shakes. The worst part is, not even i can access my guestbook's entries without signing up for "premium membership" (selling my very soul). So i've lost some really priceless entries by you guys... which is worse than losing the actual guestbook. So until i find another free service, or the frogs return victorious, you'll just have to email me at my school account - mlodzik@stolaf.edu - which comes free with exorbitant tuition. Oh yeah. And you won't even be restricted to 500 characters or less!
So let's take our minds off this downer for a while... I've got a brand new recipe that you're just going to love. It's a recipe for disaster. More specifically, Disaster Goulash. Mix the following items together in a meteor-proof bowl and prepare for a severe butt-kicking... of flavor.
Disaster Goulash
-8 cups lard
-17 generous footfuls toothpaste
-1 hornet's nest rebellion
-2 pints brooding animosity
-1/2 tsp. elephant
-precisely 297 grains salt
-6 sarcastic comments, freshly sneered
-1 metric crapload mayonnaise
-3 monkeys, quite wise
-5 wallops
Beat lard and toothpaste in younger sibling's hair. Add mayonnaise. Discourage elephant with sarcastic comments. Pack a wallop. Empty contents of monkeys' brains into hornet's nest of rebellion. Stir in animosity. Pack remaining wallops and sprinkle with salt. Serve to ex-girl/boyfriend in galvanized iron bucket. Run.
Make my delicious Disaster Goulash and make an example to everyone: flirt with you, and they're flirting with disaster.
As we speak, countless legions of flying, Corn-Nut-machine-gun-wielding frogs, led into battle by the pheerless Electric Disco Fencepost, are decending on the headquarters of theguestbook.com, former host of my guestbook. In quite the heartless display of shaftism, they pulled a drug-dealer on all their innocent, harmless constituents, making their services suddenly and conspicuously costly, leaving us thousands of e-junkies in a back alley with ragged clothes, no shoes, and the digital shakes. The worst part is, not even i can access my guestbook's entries without signing up for "premium membership" (selling my very soul). So i've lost some really priceless entries by you guys... which is worse than losing the actual guestbook. So until i find another free service, or the frogs return victorious, you'll just have to email me at my school account - mlodzik@stolaf.edu - which comes free with exorbitant tuition. Oh yeah. And you won't even be restricted to 500 characters or less!
So let's take our minds off this downer for a while... I've got a brand new recipe that you're just going to love. It's a recipe for disaster. More specifically, Disaster Goulash. Mix the following items together in a meteor-proof bowl and prepare for a severe butt-kicking... of flavor.
Disaster Goulash
-8 cups lard
-17 generous footfuls toothpaste
-1 hornet's nest rebellion
-2 pints brooding animosity
-1/2 tsp. elephant
-precisely 297 grains salt
-6 sarcastic comments, freshly sneered
-1 metric crapload mayonnaise
-3 monkeys, quite wise
-5 wallops
Beat lard and toothpaste in younger sibling's hair. Add mayonnaise. Discourage elephant with sarcastic comments. Pack a wallop. Empty contents of monkeys' brains into hornet's nest of rebellion. Stir in animosity. Pack remaining wallops and sprinkle with salt. Serve to ex-girl/boyfriend in galvanized iron bucket. Run.
Make my delicious Disaster Goulash and make an example to everyone: flirt with you, and they're flirting with disaster.
