Sunday, September 14, 2003
She was a day freaker, a one-way ticket yeah...
--dispatch--
It has come to our attention here at bensaki.blogspot.com that our website has been functioning as a kind of enabler by providing day-freaking services free of charge, thus leaving the general public without the knowledge or skill to freak up its own day. As it has been said by the wise sages of our time and centuries gone by, "Give a man a freak, and you freak up his day. Teach a man to freak, and you freak up his lifetime." That may or may not be worded correctly, but the concept remains intact. In that spirit, today's post will teach you (that's right, YOU) how to freak up your own day as often as you like. Gather the following household materials and come along.
-1 cup sugar
-4 tablespoons nutmeg
-8 generous handfuls crocodile
-3 low-calorie newspapers
-17 full-grown pigeons
-144 bags Corn Nuts
-2 sockfuls table salt
-12 buckets coral reef
-1 paper bagful shredded paper bag
-1 standard posthole digger
-the Moon
Shake vigorously. Add coconut. Subtract coconut. Divide early Roman Empire. Next, take half of the pigeons and feed to each handful of crocodile. Sprinkle with shredded paper bag. Slap mixture around with sockfuls of salt. Add sugar, nutmeg, and coral reef. Dig posthole and drop mixture in. Wait two hours, watching occasionally for passersby to fall in and meet tragic crocodilian fate. Read about the gruesome event in tomorrow's lo-cal newspaper. Move to the Moon.
After you have done all these things, take remaining sanity and pour into glass bowl. Drop off tall parking ramp. Then find a computer and type the first thing that comes to mind. Freaks up 1-3 days.
With the knowledge you now have, you will be prepared, in the event of my sudden inability to freak, to take control of the freaking situation. Use this wisdom wisely, my friends, for the world may someday depend on you.
--end dispatch--
--dispatch--
It has come to our attention here at bensaki.blogspot.com that our website has been functioning as a kind of enabler by providing day-freaking services free of charge, thus leaving the general public without the knowledge or skill to freak up its own day. As it has been said by the wise sages of our time and centuries gone by, "Give a man a freak, and you freak up his day. Teach a man to freak, and you freak up his lifetime." That may or may not be worded correctly, but the concept remains intact. In that spirit, today's post will teach you (that's right, YOU) how to freak up your own day as often as you like. Gather the following household materials and come along.
-1 cup sugar
-4 tablespoons nutmeg
-8 generous handfuls crocodile
-3 low-calorie newspapers
-17 full-grown pigeons
-144 bags Corn Nuts
-2 sockfuls table salt
-12 buckets coral reef
-1 paper bagful shredded paper bag
-1 standard posthole digger
-the Moon
Shake vigorously. Add coconut. Subtract coconut. Divide early Roman Empire. Next, take half of the pigeons and feed to each handful of crocodile. Sprinkle with shredded paper bag. Slap mixture around with sockfuls of salt. Add sugar, nutmeg, and coral reef. Dig posthole and drop mixture in. Wait two hours, watching occasionally for passersby to fall in and meet tragic crocodilian fate. Read about the gruesome event in tomorrow's lo-cal newspaper. Move to the Moon.
After you have done all these things, take remaining sanity and pour into glass bowl. Drop off tall parking ramp. Then find a computer and type the first thing that comes to mind. Freaks up 1-3 days.
With the knowledge you now have, you will be prepared, in the event of my sudden inability to freak, to take control of the freaking situation. Use this wisdom wisely, my friends, for the world may someday depend on you.
--end dispatch--
