Saturday, September 13, 2003
Kicking the Rabbit Habit
it's quiz time again, folks! time to earn more points and half-a-dumplings to enjoy in your very own home! (your very own home sold separately.) today's topic could earn you big points, or small dumplings, because the topic is something almost everybody knows about, or has at least read about in a local newspaper. (not to be confused with a lo-cal newspaper.) what is that subject? pants! pants. how well do YOUR pants fit YOU? (question not rhetorical.)
question one: can you breathe?
a) yes. and what's more, i do.
b) yes, but for whatever reason i just choose not to.
c) no, i can't. i think it might be my pants.
question two: it probably is your pants. now for the question: how well-defined are the outlines of your kneecaps as viewed from the outside of your pants?
a) quite well-defined. and that's the consensus of several experts.
b) less well-defined. less than what, i'm not sure.
c) my kneecaps are practically MADE of pant.
question three: that's creepy.
a) for sure.
b) creepy to the max!
c) mm, yes, even i have to agree it's creepy.
question four:
a) yes.
b) no.
c) no.
question five: from a relative distance, would one be able to tell the difference between your pants and a pair of denim golf clubs?
a) i assume you're equating the heads of the golf clubs to my feet. because that's a pretty funny image. heh heh heh... yeah.
b) yes, of course you could tell the difference! my pants are khaki.
c) well, no, you couldn't, but you should see the length of my kick! i mean, drive!
question six: if i gave you seventy-five cents, would you be able to fit your hand into your pocket to put the money there?
a) yes! can i get the seventy-five cents in gummi worms?
b) no, but it's only because my pockets are already way too full. i'm such a high-roller, i've got bling-bling coming out my ears. stop laughing at me.
c) no, i wouldn't. are you trying to hint at the fact that my pants might be too tight?
well, let's see, what do you think? dang, it's hard to express sarcasm in writing. anyway, add up your scores. give yourself one point for every 'a' response, half a dumpling for every 'b' response, and if you had any 'c' responses, your pants are way the crap too tight. change quickly, and come back tomorrow for another thorough freaking.
it's quiz time again, folks! time to earn more points and half-a-dumplings to enjoy in your very own home! (your very own home sold separately.) today's topic could earn you big points, or small dumplings, because the topic is something almost everybody knows about, or has at least read about in a local newspaper. (not to be confused with a lo-cal newspaper.) what is that subject? pants! pants. how well do YOUR pants fit YOU? (question not rhetorical.)
question one: can you breathe?
a) yes. and what's more, i do.
b) yes, but for whatever reason i just choose not to.
c) no, i can't. i think it might be my pants.
question two: it probably is your pants. now for the question: how well-defined are the outlines of your kneecaps as viewed from the outside of your pants?
a) quite well-defined. and that's the consensus of several experts.
b) less well-defined. less than what, i'm not sure.
c) my kneecaps are practically MADE of pant.
question three: that's creepy.
a) for sure.
b) creepy to the max!
c) mm, yes, even i have to agree it's creepy.
question four:
a) yes.
b) no.
c) no.
question five: from a relative distance, would one be able to tell the difference between your pants and a pair of denim golf clubs?
a) i assume you're equating the heads of the golf clubs to my feet. because that's a pretty funny image. heh heh heh... yeah.
b) yes, of course you could tell the difference! my pants are khaki.
c) well, no, you couldn't, but you should see the length of my kick! i mean, drive!
question six: if i gave you seventy-five cents, would you be able to fit your hand into your pocket to put the money there?
a) yes! can i get the seventy-five cents in gummi worms?
b) no, but it's only because my pockets are already way too full. i'm such a high-roller, i've got bling-bling coming out my ears. stop laughing at me.
c) no, i wouldn't. are you trying to hint at the fact that my pants might be too tight?
well, let's see, what do you think? dang, it's hard to express sarcasm in writing. anyway, add up your scores. give yourself one point for every 'a' response, half a dumpling for every 'b' response, and if you had any 'c' responses, your pants are way the crap too tight. change quickly, and come back tomorrow for another thorough freaking.
