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Monday, February 28, 2005

Pi Pi Pi

Since i wasn't doing anything with the site, i decided to sell it to a newly formed Greek organization, Pi Pi Pi. The change will take place in the next few days. This will be the official website of the first fraternity dedicated to eating pie. Let me read you a few excerpts from their charter to give you an idea of what they're about and what you can expect from this site in the future.

(from page 16)
"...so once we had established our love for pie and our desire to express that love through on-campus housing, the only thing left to do was name our frat. We struggled with this for a while until one of our founding members pointed out that all the frats he remembered seeing in movies were named after three Greek letters. Kevin was like, "Yeah, man, we should totally do that too!" So we did. We were going to go with maybe three different letters, and like have Pi at the end to sort of emphasize it, but I thought, "Let's really hammer it home that we're all about pie." Yeah. So that's basically where it came from, Pi Pi Pi."

(from page 53)
"...but then we remembered that girls weren't allowed in fraternities. Girls have something called sobrieties or seniorities. I don't know much Greek, but I think the name for the girl group is derived from the idea that girls are supposed to mature faster than boys, so they have like "seniority" metaphorically speaking. Whereas "fraternity" is derived from the German farter, "to fart," which I think there's a lot of truth to.

Anyway, the no girls thing was a big problem, because as far as I can remember from biology, boys don't have the pie-baking gene. It broke off from the pie-eating gene somewhere in prehistoric times. So we were almost stuck for a while, because we would either have to get girlfriends who would bake us pies all the time and bring them over, or we would have to drop a whole bunch of money on store-bought pies, which aren't even as good. For a while we talked about bending the rules and letting girls into the frat, but it turned out none of them wanted to join anyway.

So how we finally solved the problem was we tried some gene therapy, which I learned in a biology lab one time. It's where you take cells from your cheek and extract the DNA (Description of Natural Attributes), and then we immersed the DNA in some pie filling so it could absorb the nucleus, or the nectar, or I forget the scientific term. It was working really well, and then Dean remembered he had a book that tells you how to make pie. So we decided to just use that, since gene therapy is kind of like playing God anyway."


So, i hope this will be a fitting introduction and welcome to what i hope will be a successful and storied organization. Good luck to them as they make their new home at bensaki.blogspot.com.

Monday, February 14, 2005

Coffee-tainted Kool-Aid is not my cup of anything.

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

I was in biology today and i thought of some anagrams for the word "biology." Here are the best ones:

oily bog
yo, i blog
i, log boy
go by oil

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